I'm listening to "The Mikado" whilst writing this so excuse me if I suddenly break into a chorus of "Three Little Maids". It's an I-Tunes purchase of the English National Opera (including Miss Lesley Garrett) giving their best Japanese and I must say that anyone who appreciates the genius of Gilbert and Sullivan won't be dissapointed and how could you be when the bass is provided by a man called Bonaventure Bottone? Today I feel truly English. A little light operetta and a cup of tea only form part of my English-ness however for today I dined like a true Edwardian and enjoyed the butter-soaked dish of Kedgeree.
Now for those who never saw Great Food Live or the Two Fat Ladies, Kedgeree was originally an Indian peasant dish comprising of rice, spices, lentils and duck. Originally called Kitchari, an old English Colonel brought it back from British India (as it then was) and demanded that his cook produce it for his breakfast the next day but certain changes had to be made. Firstly the lentils were thrown out of the equation and secondly, duck was substituted for smoked haddock. The result was a dish that would be enjoyed in every upper-class dining room for years to come. It was the taste of the Raj and was a breakfast dish, consumed with slabs of brown bread and butter and a small vat of tea. Not many people could stomach the idea of eating such a dish for breakfast now but breakfast in the Edwardian era was as much an event as afternoon tea.
Edwardian cooks were really something special. For the average shooting breakfast a cook would easily be asked to produce eggs, bacon, tomatoes, sausages, mushrooms and toast as well as cereals and porridge but in addition, hot plates would be crowded with something a little more robust for the tweed-clad company that was about to trek across moors to kill a few grouse. Devilled kidneys and kedgeree became two such dishes and I have always admired the skill that goes into creating such culinary delights. So today I decided to make kedgeree - sans butter I have to admit. You first need to obtain some smoked haddock which I got from the fish counter at ASDA. A fillet of smoked haddock cost me £2.23 and a more beautiful piece of fish I couldn't have asked for.
So, to make kedgeree, you simply poach your fish in either salted water or butter and milk and when cooked, put to one side to cool down. In the water or butter and milk, boil some basmati rice. In a frying pan, fry some diced onion with tumeric, cumin, garam masala and coriander (about 1tsp of each) and when the onions are cooked and the rice boiled, add the rice to the onions and spices. Stir and flake in the smoked haddock feeling for bones. Then add some peas and some chopped boiled egg, a sprinkling of parsley and you've created a dish fit for a Major General. I have to say that it was amazingly delicious and I used Marrowfat peas which were delicious and probably closer to the original lentils than garden peas would be.
So imagine my horror and shock dear readers, as I was then asked to prepare a quick meal for my sister and her friend. I love cooking and began to work out what I could give them, but no, a meal was waiting to be "cooked". ASDA had provided two chicken breasts in bacon with cheese which took an hour (not 30mins) to cook in the oven. The girls were having this with mashed potato - or were they? I happily began peeling potatoes when I was presented with a blue bag of frozen mash to heat up. Yes - frozen mash. Now, Aunt Bessie is probably a lovely lady but she should stick to needlepoint and leave cookery well alone. The instructions told me to warm the "patties" in a saucepan. Opening the bag is something I shall never forget as about 20 frozen hockey-pucks rolled into the pan and began to melt. From truly great cuisine that Victoria Regina would have been proud of, I was now melting mashed potato lollies. An hour later and I was plating up shrivelled white blocks with leathery bacon and a white goo that could well have been supplied by Mr Bumble. In my mind's eye, I could see and smell the kedgeree with it's delicious chunks of haddock and glorious spiced rice. Through my glasses I could see gloop and smell nothing. Where have we gone wrong on the food front?!
Many of you will have watched Jeni Barnett on Great Food Live, a programme very sadly missed by true cookery addicts like myself. I just can't imagine Simon Rimmer or Nancy Lam making ASDA Chicken with gruel-like mash. Where were the sumptous colours, the gorgeous smells and the textures of fabulous produce? And they wonder why Britain has a weight problem. The mashed potato in a bag cost £1.50 and the chicken breasts a la cheesy bacon, £2. Surely it would have been worth the extra pound to buy a bag of real potatoes and two real chicken breasts? I looked at this grey gloop and I was dying to add something to it to make it more acceptable but I realised that it simply wasn't good food. Of course, two 15 year old girls were not going to eat kedgeree because it's actually edible. So today I write this as I embark on a bottle of Rosé which I need to console myself after the shock of frozen mash disks. We can only pray that Aunt Bessie will not decide in her wisdom to freeze kedgeree. If she does, I may have to scream.
